It is true what they say about children that they have impressionable minds. And it is precisely because of that that we should take extra care and caution of what we say and do to them and around them. So it is not surprising that the children that grow up to be the best people we know are those who have been constantly given and shown the right amount of affection and discipline.
Butt to discipline a child is entirely different from abusing them. It is often suggested that some of the ways parents have used to discipline their young are already forms of child abuse. I remember in grade school there was this television program showing stories of children who have suffered abuse from their families. Oddly enough then, it seemed like a normal thing to me that those incidents happened in poor families. But fifteen years later I realize those incidents may be happening on a regular basis, but they should not be. In no person's eyes or thoughts should it ever be alright that a child be subject to any form of physical, mental, emotional, or social suffering.
I found an article written by my professor in Rights of Women and Children a few years ago. It lays down elements of what acts by adults would constitute discipline still, and what acts are those that are already borderlining abuse. You can find a copy of her article in the link below. One of those she listed down was if the act was anger-driven. It says in sum that when an adult punishes an action by a child because it caused him anger, then that act of punishment is a form of abuse. I personally experienced this as a child when my nanny scalded me with a hot kettle on my left shoulder when I was about three years old. She got infuriated with me for being a bit of a rugrat.
Child abuse need not be entirely physical as well. I remember one of my high school teachers in religion class shared one of his experiences as a child. We were discussing the power of spoken words could do to others and so we must be careful what we say to them. He noted that this care must be extended especially to children because children have such a terse memory and a fragile hearts, and so they can remember most what struck them most may it be positive or negative. He was in elementary school and they were rehearsing a dance performance for a school feast. During their rehearsals he had some difficulty following the steps so his teacher lost her temper at him. She marched onto the stage, he recalls, and pulled him by the arm and said "Bakit ba hindi mo makuha? Ang tanga tanga mo namang bata ka! Hindi ka marunong sumayaw!"
Children have a way of retaining memories that affect them. That is probably why you could remember something from as far back when you were five or eight. You remember when someone calls you ugly, or stupid. You remember the first time you were praised for creating a grand sculpture or winning a medal for running. You remember it because it made you feel in a way that you liked, or that you did not.
Children remember as much of those because they are eager to learn. Instinctively, they learn through experience, and in experience, you listen with your mind and your heart. Because of that, childhood memories are sometimes hard to shake. There are so embedded in you that even when you try to forget some of them, you remember them again later on. And so this is what adults hope to achieve when they discipline their children. But just keep in mind and in heart that whatever children experience, they never forget, much like you do.
I just hope that this is not too much for you to remember. I hope you do not forget.
Here is the link to my professor's article:
http://pinayjustice.blogspot.com/2005/04/child-abuse-or-child-discipline.html
Hoping to inspire,
Czarina
April 3, 2014- 4:30pm
"Na sa kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan."
- Dr. Jose P. Rizal
Butt to discipline a child is entirely different from abusing them. It is often suggested that some of the ways parents have used to discipline their young are already forms of child abuse. I remember in grade school there was this television program showing stories of children who have suffered abuse from their families. Oddly enough then, it seemed like a normal thing to me that those incidents happened in poor families. But fifteen years later I realize those incidents may be happening on a regular basis, but they should not be. In no person's eyes or thoughts should it ever be alright that a child be subject to any form of physical, mental, emotional, or social suffering.
I found an article written by my professor in Rights of Women and Children a few years ago. It lays down elements of what acts by adults would constitute discipline still, and what acts are those that are already borderlining abuse. You can find a copy of her article in the link below. One of those she listed down was if the act was anger-driven. It says in sum that when an adult punishes an action by a child because it caused him anger, then that act of punishment is a form of abuse. I personally experienced this as a child when my nanny scalded me with a hot kettle on my left shoulder when I was about three years old. She got infuriated with me for being a bit of a rugrat.
Child abuse need not be entirely physical as well. I remember one of my high school teachers in religion class shared one of his experiences as a child. We were discussing the power of spoken words could do to others and so we must be careful what we say to them. He noted that this care must be extended especially to children because children have such a terse memory and a fragile hearts, and so they can remember most what struck them most may it be positive or negative. He was in elementary school and they were rehearsing a dance performance for a school feast. During their rehearsals he had some difficulty following the steps so his teacher lost her temper at him. She marched onto the stage, he recalls, and pulled him by the arm and said "Bakit ba hindi mo makuha? Ang tanga tanga mo namang bata ka! Hindi ka marunong sumayaw!"
Children have a way of retaining memories that affect them. That is probably why you could remember something from as far back when you were five or eight. You remember when someone calls you ugly, or stupid. You remember the first time you were praised for creating a grand sculpture or winning a medal for running. You remember it because it made you feel in a way that you liked, or that you did not.
Children remember as much of those because they are eager to learn. Instinctively, they learn through experience, and in experience, you listen with your mind and your heart. Because of that, childhood memories are sometimes hard to shake. There are so embedded in you that even when you try to forget some of them, you remember them again later on. And so this is what adults hope to achieve when they discipline their children. But just keep in mind and in heart that whatever children experience, they never forget, much like you do.
I just hope that this is not too much for you to remember. I hope you do not forget.
Here is the link to my professor's article:
http://pinayjustice.blogspot.com/2005/04/child-abuse-or-child-discipline.html
Hoping to inspire,
Czarina
April 3, 2014- 4:30pm
"Na sa kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan."
- Dr. Jose P. Rizal
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